I’m staying in Spokane for the summer. It’s actually been a good though bumpy ride to get here. At first I was pretty disappointed as I realized I wouldn’t have enough support to leave in time, and I suppose I should have expected it. But in the end I think the Lord is trying to teach me some things, probably not least of which is that it’s His timing that matters, not mine.
One of the things I struggle with is recognizing that it doesn’t matter where my income seems to come from, it’s always provided by God. Whether I’m working here in Spokane or living off of the support of others abroad I don’t receive anything that He hasn’t given me. This was made clear to me again in conversation with a friend yesterday when I mentioned that no matter how many jobs I applied for or contracts I tried to win I never got anywhere. But then, just in time to keep me fed, a job would fall into my lap. It’s God that’s been paying my bills this whole time.
That also raises the incredible importance of what my supporters are (or will be) doing back home, working to be able to give and send. As the Levites didn’t have an inheritance of their own but subsisted off of the produce of the other tribes so to will I have to live off the generosity of others. I never really thought about that as I gave and supported people on my own over the past years, but it’s been humbling to approach the other side of things and accept people’s gifts. It’s also often eye-opening to the differing views people hold on missionaries and money in particular.
It really pushes me even more to appreciate the work and effort being done back home to help send people like me. In Texas they’d talked about how we’re more representatives of the people back home than we are there on our own. I hope to be a good representative. I wish I could be self-sustaining as I prepare to leave, somehow it would make things easier. But I’m discovering that it would rob me of the opportunity to join with everyone back home in what God is doing. I could never do this alone.
At this point the plan is to continue raising support and hopefully be ready to head to Texas for training in September, with field training in Haiti at the tail end of October. But as I’ve been finding out, I’d better hold on to my plans loosely.
Gearing up to raise support again has been difficult as well. I was excited to give that final push to join the ship this month, and after the letdown of not making that goal my momentum dropped significantly and I’ve had a hard time picking up steam again. One nice thing has been the provision of a little bit of web work on the side and the drop in my cost of living. It should free me up to take some vacation. I haven’t had one in years, I’m not exactly sure what people do with vacations anyways, but I think I’ll figure it out.
Thanks for your prayers, and your patience as I figure out exactly what it is I’m doing. If you are of the praying variety I could use them, and if you need any yourself please feel free to drop me an Email or leave a comment below and let me know how I can be lifting you up!